a little bit of the three OH.

I woke up early in the morning, walked sleepily down my hallway and like clockwork turned into the living room to check on Pearl. That was the exact moment when my jaw dropped open and a little gasp of air entered my lungs, holding on to time. I stood there speechless. Motionless. My eyeballs instantly wider as I smiled at my new bubble gum pink colored 2010 Vespa. Yup, right there in the middle of my living room floor was the fotobug's new companion.

Yesterday, I turned a little bit of the three OH.

For many months now I have dreaded yesterday so very much. And for those of you close to me who have had to hear about my birthday for months now..... I thank you for listening.... or for at least making eye contact while acting like your listening to me ramble on an on....ha! I also thank you, in advance, for any future ramblings. Because to be honest: I am not quite done yet. :o)

In light of my birthday, I have spent a ton of time thinking about my life. I have thought about how blessed my life has been and where it's going to go.... I don't know all the answers yet but there are some things that I like to think I know. So, I have decided to make a list of thirty things about me. This blog entry might drive a few people nuts.... but, it's my blog and it's my birthday so.... there. (Gosh, that was bratty!) Well, here it is:

1. Sometimes I have laughing episodes so hard, I cry.

2. Many days my job is so fun I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm awake.

3. I adore children. Other peoples children.

4. One of my favorite things to do is people watch.

5. I never watch the news and seldom watch tv.

6. I became a vegetarian over ten years ago when I went to my friend Sara's Hawaiian luau and saw a pig on a spit. We created a 'rip' Wilber sign and I from that day forward my meat eating days were final.

7. I fold my t-shirts in perfect rectangles.

8. I run because it keeps me sane....ish.

9. Sometimes, I randomly catch myself tapping my feet to music... tap, shuffle, heel-toe-heel, tap, tap, tap- stomp. (I was a tap dancer for 13 years....)

10. My idea of a perfect vacation is somewhere outside where I can easily get to a body of water, a refreshing piece of watermelon and have my running shoes handy.

11. I love the smell of rain.

12. My favorite musician is John Mayer (and if you have been to my studio you would have seen the cardboard cut-out that I have of him.) Ingrid Michaelson is a very very close second.

13. I am hopeful.

14. Most of the time, I trust too easily.

15. When I can't sleep at night I go outside and look at the stars or moon.

16. I almost have the whole Albuquerque sunset time chart memorized.

17. I love clouds.

18. My hair styling skills are hopeless. I was raised with brothers (that's my excuse) and I never ever know what to do with it.

19. Even when I have moments of uncertainty or lack of confidence I know that I have a support team who is there for me to cheer me on.

20. I am a horrible listener. There, I said it. It's a bad quality to have BUT I am working on it!!

21. Everywhere I look (in my house, car, bags) I find chap-stick containers. Used, unused and never completely empty.

22. One of my favorite things to do is to perform random acts of kindness.

23. My posture is frightening. So, if you see me slouching please say something!

24. I have a really acute sense of smell.

25. I used to be a litter bug (which makes me cringe to admit). Key words: 'used to be' AND NOW I spend some of my free time picking up litter randomly. In parking lots or around my neighborhood.

26. I believe that happiness is a choice.

27. My favorite color is pink (but it used to be orange!!)

28. I own way too much clothing and pairs of shoes.

29. I LOVE getting cards or letters in the mail.

30. I am worth it.

So, after I thanked my husband for getting me the pink Vespa. He looked at me with all sincerity and said, 'I didn't get it for you because I wanted to, I got it for you because I love you.'

So, even if I don't have all the answers to my future and where I am going.... I know that wherever it is: I am loved. This much, I know is true.

Charlie. As himself.

Have you ever said something without thinking it through and then been MORTIFIED at what fell out of your mouth? That is how I met Charlie. We were sitting at the laptop bar, at Flying Star, when the battery life warning on my friends laptop started blinking. I quickly looked under the counter for an outlet, spotted one, grabbed the power cord and without thinking turned to the gentleman sitting next to me and thoughtlessly blurted out, 'May I stick this between your legs?' His eyes suddenly as big as saucers and my face instantly felt sun burnt. I was utterly EMBARASSED. There was no turning back time.... so we all burst out laughing and didn't stop until we all had sore abdominal muscles. Which is one way to burn off the dangerous calories of the lemon cheesecake we consumed.....AND more importantly make a friend.

Meet Charlie:

One of my favorites.

LOVE this one. (and yes, it's out of focus on purpose.)
Stunning eyes.
How cute!

Charlie,

Thank you for laughing at my awkward introduction on our first meeting... for the impromptu sunset yoga lesson (which I believe was totally a level 2- 3 ish.... right!?) and MOST importantly for just being you.

The world needs more people like you and always continue to just be yourself. :o)

Thank you soverymuch,

Sarah

Jaxon. Pure joy.

My brother and sister-in-law have made the decision to move to Oregon. With them they will take one of our family's greatest blessings: Jaxon. Both sides of our families can talk about Jaxon for hours- and do!!! He lights up ALL of our lives by just being himself. He is creative and sees life in such a pure way.... it's magical. I feel so blessed that during his last couple of days (before starting his journey west) he spent a night at my house. Today after running at the park, chasing a make believe squirrel and laughing so much we got tears in our eyes Jaxon had a very long nap. He woke from his nap and came running down my hallway with great urgency in his voice:

'Auntie, come HERE!'

I jumped up and quickly followed in the direction of his voice, 'what is it Jaxon??'

'Hurry, I have to show you something.'

He led me to the door and pointed upwards. 'Look, look at that sunset.'

'WOW....' I smiled and carried him outside. As we watched he sky he slowly shook his head, 'I just can't believe it.....'

'What can't you believe?'

'This sunset.... it's beautiful.'

I agreed, 'Yes, it is. Thank you for sharing.'

My time spent with Jaxon was like the sunset that he shared with me. Just beautiful. Today, I am not sad about what I'm losing.... I am happy and thankful for everything that we shared. Keep looking up sweet Jaxon...... Oregon sunsets are waiting for you to arrive.

A tattoo from each grandma. Too cute!

We set the self timer for these. Jaxon pressed the shutter and ran as fast as he could to make it just in time to get in the shots. It was so much fun we couldn't stop laughing!

Then Jaxon expressed his desire to hold (and use) Auntie's very expensive camera. I am still in shock that he captured the following images. These are straight out of the camera without any cropping at all.
If I only had time to tell you what he was saying to make me laugh....

Seriously people, isn't he gorgeous?!?! (And totally going to be my future camera assistant.)

Daniel and Brittany, I wish you safe travels and hopes for a journey that fulfills all of your families dreams. Love, Sarah

Happy Birthday Lincoln. Happy day sweet David.

Weeks before my mom knew she was pregnant with Lincoln, I knew. I remember looking at moms reflection in our full length bathroom mirror thinking about how her tummy seemed slightly 'poofy' and as she fixed her hair she hummed a song. Something seemed different about mom and when I asked her if she was pregnant she giggled, 'what made you ask that?' She stopped for a brief moment, in thought, then carried on humming. On Christmas day that year mom and dad announced that we had one more gift but we couldn't 'open' it quite yet. The suspense ate me alive as mom smiled and built up to say, 'we are having a baby!' My mouth dropped open and I exclaimed, 'I knew it!!' Every single day from December to July I prayed that mom was having a girl. I already had two brothers and I thought that was enough!

As dad and I paced the hallway in the hospital for the baby status update we teased each other even making bets on if baby was gonna be a 'Tiffany' or a 'Lincoln.' The doctor emerged from the room (from which seemed like an eternity) and announced, 'it's a... boy!' My heart sank as I looked at shiny speckled linoleum floor and thought to myself..... but Tiffany was gonna play dress-up with me!!! As I walked into the room the doctor handed my baby brother to me. Before dad or mom or any other family member got to hold Lincoln I got to be first. As my arm supported his head close to my heart he opened his eyes to greet me and I said, 'Why hello there.... it's nice to meet you, Lincoln.' He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and at that very moment I forgot about combing barbies hair, rainbow bright and 'girls only' tea parties. At that very moment I knew that I was in love. Then dad whispered to me, 'just think Sarah, when your about to turn thirty, Lincoln will be graduating from high school.' ........'ohhhh dad, that's soooo far from now!' Dad chuckled knowing time better than I did. I looked over at a very exhausted mom and in her eyes I saw the same lovely expression as the day she was humming to herself in the bathroom.

Needless to say, I have always felt a special bond with Lincoln. When we weren't together I would wonder if he was hungry, if he had toys to play with at home, did he have his nap yet? I have had eighteen years of worry thinking about what choices Lincoln will or won't make in his life. When I moved to New Zealand for several years, I missed my entire family but I found myself missing him the most. After two years of being gone, I returned to NM for a visit and as I walked through the airport my hand was suddenly filled with a small warm hand. I looked down at Lincoln and he said to me, 'sister you are..... beautiful.' I replied, 'And look at you Lincoln! You're so tall now and looking very handsome!' Hand in hand we walked towards the airport parking lot the entire time thinking to myself, 'Now I'm home.'

Baby brother Lincoln,

You are the best surprise I have ever received.

Happy 18th birthday!

Love, sister

Also, my husband has asked me not to make a big deal about his 30th birthday today or else I would have written about him too....I am trying to honor his request but I can't go without at least saying: Happy birthday sweet David! See, I told you that you would make it!!! :o)

Brian and Diea. Better together.

My dear friend, Brian, married the love of his life this past Saturday in Florida. I had the honor of being invited as their guest and very specifically NOT their photographer. Of course, I would have enjoyed documenting their day but more than that I felt so special knowing that they wanted me to simply just be there........ especially for open bar cocktail hour. :o)

Two days before their wedding I went snorkling in the Atlantic ocean with Brian and his family. As we slightly treaded water letting the oceans current carry us north we spoke of Diea and how in just two days he will choose to be with her for the rest of his life. He told me that for the first year of their relationship he lived in California while Diea lived in Florida. They were first friends, spending every chance they could communicating with eachother via internet. They would purposely go out and rent the same movies and buy the same type of wine. In sync, they would watch movies together while sipping on wine, even though they had miles of land between them. A entire year of good morning emails, from Brian to Diea..... made them realize that they are better together.

On Saturday, my dear friend married a woman that he loves dearly and she loves him back. They have a deep friendship and honest love and to witness their celebration made me feel so honored. And just think...... the best has yet to come!

Hello gorgeous!

For: Brian... Yours, Diea.

The boys.



For: Brian .......love, David

For: ME .....because he's THAT cute. 

David took this one....and 'posed' me too!

Then I took his idea.....

love the laugh.
and LOVE the kiss more....
but LOVE the way Brian looks at Diea MOST!
Ring shot: Now they never have to have land between them again.... 
......umm, I don't even like wine.... yet I drank this entire glass. 

Brian and Diea, 

It was an honor to witness your celebration of love and a much needed vacation for me and David....... many many many thanks. 

Love, Sarah

I am my father's daughter and I wouldn't want it any other way.

This blog post is extremely personal and probably crosses the line of being professional in many ways. However, I truly believe that we all have our own version of life and I know that I am who I am because of my story. It has shaped me into the person I am today and for the most part I really like the person that I am: forgiving, embracing happiness and loving.... and because I bring so much of who I am into my photography, I wanted to share a small piece of my heart.

This image was taken while I was on a 36 mile backpacking trip through the south island of New Zealand. At one point (after climbing for about eight hours by myself) I turned around and looked back at the path I had just climbed. I remember thinking about how, at certain points it hurt so much.... but looking back it was totally worth every step. Then for a moment, I didn't know if I was thinking about the path....

....or my life.

One of my very first memories that I can ever remember is of my dad. I was four years old. He was sitting on our maroon colored couch, his back faced the 80's style crackled mirrored wall that went straight up to the ceiling in our living room. The three bulbed lamp dimly lit the room while the sound of The Beatles danced through the faux wood box speakers. My dad hunched over his 'seed slide' brought a joint up to his lips, sucked in chronic and exhaled, his mouth shaped like an 'O'.... puff, cough.... exhale, breathe. My brother and I stood before dad anticipating the perfectly formed circle of smoke that would float from his lips.... like magic. We would use our index finger and poke it through the middle of the circle that would quickly grow bigger and bigger until all the smoke had dissipated into hazy air. We would jump up and down, 'Do it again dad, again!'


My dad was a drug addict for almost thirty years. It consumed him and shaped our family during my (and my brothers) entire childhood. Growing up we shared laughter.....but mostly anger. We walked on eggshells never knowing if dad was high on the roller coaster or crashing down..... on us. Emotionally. One day, dad had a moment of clarity and made the choice to stop his addiction. He has told me many times, 'once an addict, always an addict.' So, everyday he makes a choice not to go back.


The moment he quit is when, I believe, my dad really started living.


He left himself vulnerable to his 'true friends'.... his family, himself. He had to be openly honest about EVERYTHING and the deep tracks he carved into his family. For many years I used to wish my childhood was something else....something without circles of smoke. I think about how symbolic that simple puff of smoke shaped my life and how my dad chose to break the circle. The patterned cycle of life. To me he is proof that people can change. They have to want it though. The amount of love and pride I have for him is something that cannot be measured.


We all have a story. I wouldn't change mine for anything. Today, I honor my dad and his choice to be drug free. This year marks an entire decade!

My favorite dad......my hero.

Forever changed.

Thank you for making a choice: every. single. day.

Love, your favorite daughter

Adrianna and Arycela. Twinship.

Twins. I have always been extremely fascinated with twins and multiple births. My grandpa was an identical twin and maybe that has something to do with it. I have thought about this a lot growing up and some things that keep playing in my mind about twins is their special bond. They start their life at the same exact time and at the same exact place yet they are very different. They carry an unexplained unity of twinship love that can only be felt.

The moment I met Arycela and Adrianna my heart was joyful. They didn't hold back smiles or personality traits... how perfectly amazing is that? I have been documenting them for over a year now and it's incredible how much their outer beings have changed and at the same time how their sweet bond has stayed very much the same. At the end of their first session with me they fell asleep holding hands.... a powerful moment I will never forget.

Sweet face of Adrianna.

This is joy!

LOVE this one.

Too cute!

Arycela got in her jeep and took off! It was one of the cutest things I have EVER witnessed!!

Love this.

Gorgeous smile.

With twins I believe it's: Double the blessing, twice the amounts of kisses!

Guillen family, I always look forward to seeing your girls! It was been an honor documenting your girls grow and laugh and play and love...... thank you for trusting me to document their twinship. One day, I look forward to wedding bells and more.... BUT that's a long time from now..... like we talked about, cherish each moment. Love, Sarah