Weeks before my mom knew she was pregnant with Lincoln, I knew. I remember looking at moms reflection in our full length bathroom mirror thinking about how her tummy seemed slightly 'poofy' and as she fixed her hair she hummed a song. Something seemed different about mom and when I asked her if she was pregnant she giggled, 'what made you ask that?' She stopped for a brief moment, in thought, then carried on humming. On Christmas day that year mom and dad announced that we had one more gift but we couldn't 'open' it quite yet. The suspense ate me alive as mom smiled and built up to say, 'we are having a baby!' My mouth dropped open and I exclaimed, 'I knew it!!' Every single day from December to July I prayed that mom was having a girl. I already had two brothers and I thought that was enough!
As dad and I paced the hallway in the hospital for the baby status update we teased each other even making bets on if baby was gonna be a 'Tiffany' or a 'Lincoln.' The doctor emerged from the room (from which seemed like an eternity) and announced, 'it's a... boy!' My heart sank as I looked at shiny speckled linoleum floor and thought to myself..... but Tiffany was gonna play dress-up with me!!! As I walked into the room the doctor handed my baby brother to me. Before dad or mom or any other family member got to hold Lincoln I got to be first. As my arm supported his head close to my heart he opened his eyes to greet me and I said, 'Why hello there.... it's nice to meet you, Lincoln.' He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and at that very moment I forgot about combing barbies hair, rainbow bright and 'girls only' tea parties. At that very moment I knew that I was in love. Then dad whispered to me, 'just think Sarah, when your about to turn thirty, Lincoln will be graduating from high school.' ........'ohhhh dad, that's soooo far from now!' Dad chuckled knowing time better than I did. I looked over at a very exhausted mom and in her eyes I saw the same lovely expression as the day she was humming to herself in the bathroom.
Needless to say, I have always felt a special bond with Lincoln. When we weren't together I would wonder if he was hungry, if he had toys to play with at home, did he have his nap yet? I have had eighteen years of worry thinking about what choices Lincoln will or won't make in his life. When I moved to New Zealand for several years, I missed my entire family but I found myself missing him the most. After two years of being gone, I returned to NM for a visit and as I walked through the airport my hand was suddenly filled with a small warm hand. I looked down at Lincoln and he said to me, 'sister you are..... beautiful.' I replied, 'And look at you Lincoln! You're so tall now and looking very handsome!' Hand in hand we walked towards the airport parking lot the entire time thinking to myself, 'Now I'm home.'
Baby brother Lincoln,
You are the best surprise I have ever received.
Happy 18th birthday!
Love, sister
Also, my husband has asked me not to make a big deal about his 30th birthday today or else I would have written about him too....I am trying to honor his request but I can't go without at least saying: Happy birthday sweet David! See, I told you that you would make it!!! :o)
